Ask the Rabbi with Rabbi Sara Shonfeld

Rabbi Sara Shonfeld is one of my very favorite rabbis to work with. Based in the NY area, she officiates Jewish and interfaith weddings, often working together with clergy of other faiths.

She infuses the ceremonies with joy, spirituality, and Jewish tradition. I have loved getting to know her through all of our mutual clients and it is a real treat to feature her as the first in my new Ask the Rabbi series!

What is your favorite part of being a rabbi?

I love meeting my couples who often come with their loving and excited parents as well and working with them closely on creating the ceremony.
I feel so lucky to be part of their special day. I love connecting with their family and friends and being part of their milestone life cycle celebrations in their lives.

And of course, the ceremony is the most joyful part of my job!

How did you decide to become a rabbi?

There is a need for many couples who don't share the same faith and still want to include Jewish elements, traditions, and cultural aspect as part of their ceremony. It is important to me to be there for them and with them, on their wedding day.

What do you consider to be the most important value in a marriage?

There are many important values in a marriage! There are all connected and intertwined; Love, respect, devotion, faithfulness, shared values, happiness, trust, consideration, communication, motivating each other, understanding, laughter, and more.

What advice do you have for engaged couples as they plan their wedding and family

Enjoy the process! Don't sweat the small things.

What is the most common mistake you see married couples make?

Getting too worried that one small detail will not work perfectly.

What advice do you have for keeping the flame and romance alive in a marriage after the honeymoon is over?

Remember how you fell in love in the first place and keep the romance going. Be attentive to each other, make time for one another, remember to send flowers, love notes, etc.

Remember not to let life get in the way of your love!

What do you consider to be the most important Jewish traditions to maintain for a family?

Holidays and Shabbat are very cultural and traditional. Through songs, blessings, stories, and food (of course) you can create a Jewish tradition in your own family.


Interested in talking more with Rabbi Sara or considering her as your officiant? Get in touch with her or find her on her website.

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